It is no great secret I adore clothes for little girls (unless you don’t read my blog or know me in real life and then you’re probably reading this, thinking “um - it is to me???”). When I was a child I did not like dressing frilly or girly. I went from one bad stage to the next… to worse. I think poor Nana was thrilled when my sister turned out to be the ultimate frou frou, frock-wearing, tattle-telling, can’t get the shoes dirty, hair in a bow every day, perfect little girl. (at least for the 1st part of her life) :)
Thankfully, I have a middle-of-the-road child. She doesn’t go nuts to dress up in tutus or put flowers in her hair - but she does let me do these things to her on occasion. And through her, I can see what life would have been like had I not been beating up all the little boys and wearing Chucks with my Sunday School clothes.
I wish I could sew - I wish I could think up things to make for Faith.. and then create them. I am amazingly jealous of the talent people have who can design things for other people to wear. My mother and both my Grandmothers were so talented with the sewing machine. If only I had inherited one iota of stitching ability. If only I had paid attention. Oh well..
I love visiting Rebekah’s blog all the time to see what she’s up to. I loved her picture this week. I can just imagine the pride she feels when she finishes one of her creations. And then to see it on someone she loves. How very cool.
I’ve looked at all the pictures this month with awe and admiration - and I’ve really gravitated towards the “bits and pieces” shots. I feel like people have things they want to share about who they are - and by putting the spotlight on those specific parts of their body, we’re getting a glimpse of what someone thinks are their positives or negatives. Or maybe we’re just seeing a small part of someone we wouldn’t see otherwise.
But when I think of nudes - I think of being a little girl with a mother struggling through art school. We had a studio in the back of our house - and if I wasn’t in there, I was with her in the back of a class. We had the strangest stuff in that studio, as well as our house (it was during the 70’s - hello), and our world revolved around my mother’s art projects.
She did a lot of work with female nudes, and she used to do huge paintings in various mediums. I wish with all my heart that we still had them. We talked about this just the other day… but they were all discarded at garage sales or went to people with whom we’ve lost touch. I remember looking at these paintings, with their curvy, mysterious lines. The female form was never something taboo to me - it was beautiful.
The picture I chose this week reminded me of all of this. Pumkinlittle’s self portrait is probably my favorite nude so far, because it reminds me of my too-young, hippie, music-loving, single mother working and dreaming in her studio - and the beauty of the female form that used to adorn our walls when she was done. There is something so simple and honest about it. I really don’t have a story to go with my post - I just loved her picture.
I sat here after making my selection this week and scanned through all of my memories. I grew up on a lake (which wasn’t the type that you swimmed in - it was murky and filled with copperheads… it was lovely to look at but good grief! I don’t know how our dogs swam in there now that I think about it?? Anyway). We had a swimming pool at most of the houses we lived in… I know I was a crazy teenager and then came college (this isn’t a direct confession, mind you) so I went to plenty of pool parties - and hello Spring Break in Mexico.
But for the life of me - I can’t think of a time that I’ve jumped in a body of water completely nude. Obviously this month is bringing to light all of my issues with nudity - and perhaps I should create some sort of “nudity bucket list.” I’ll just go join a nudist camp - or not.
I was drawn to Amarettogirl’s picture, though. It’s beautiful - I love the light and the water together… it creates an ethereal, “other worldly” atmosphere. It made me think of freedom and peace - and maybe having the opportunity to take a bath by myself.
I guess I have been in the bathtub - big bathtubs.. so there’s something! Hottub!
I’ve moved from one side of the United States to the other in the past few weeks - and now that I’m (temporarily) back in Oklahoma we’ve been spending more and more time at my Mom and Dad’s house. On one hand it’s wonderful… I’ve really missed them - but on the other, this is amazingly bad timing for this month’s challenge. I can’t think of anywhere I would want to be naked *less* than at my parents’ home.
I honestly don’t know how I’m going to find a way to take the type of portraits I would like to… I can’t imagine explaining me naked in a bedroom with a tripod to Nana in any way, shape or form (just thinking about it is making me freak a little).
So I got a wee bit jealous browsing through everyone else’s photos… the whole aspect of privacy and the ability to do what you want (whenever you want) changes when you become the child again. It’s difficult to go backwards when you’re nearing the age of 40.
I absolutely loved melissatulip’s picture - it’s the epitome of what I wish I could do with a camera, but it would cause a complete scandal. I love the lush green against her skin - it’s a complete celebration of natural freedom.
I don’t want to go too crazy with this post, because I can completely see it turning into the great American novel.. but Nicole’s picture (and caption) struck a chord. Lately I’ve been reflecting - not so much on the things I’ve done… but on the voids and gaps that remain scattered around me because of the things I haven’t.
I must be realistic - I’m getting older, and I need to stop being afraid to break out of my shell and really live. Whatever it is that has forced me to seek shelter needs to be cast to the side - and I must create my own dandelion chains and soak up the sun.
When I think of all the “must do’s” I’ve left undone - it truly is absurd.
Thanks for the inspiration.
Photo courtesy of Nicole Owens, 60piggies.
Good grief, my post titles are just way too long - I should have thought that through a little better. Now THAT is absurd.
I can’t figure out if this theme is throwing everyone for a loop this month - or people are just bogged down by the inevitable taxes. I actually have pictures sitting on my camera - but we’re traveling and I’m having to borrow such antiquated computer equipment, my RAW files would probably explode the hard drive in 5 seconds flat. Technology!!
This is a difficult theme - but I’m trying to think of how ridiculous various circumstances around me are, and shoot from that. I don’t know if that’s correct or not.
The post I picked this week totally reminds me of my first garden - I had no idea how much preparation went into something enjoyed in spring and summer while you were literally freezing your ass off in the dead of winter. My mother is a master gardener and she had me burying bulbs in hay and blankets as sheets of ice were plummeting from the sky - I will never forget thinking my fingers were going to fall off my hands… But the peonies that bloomed were the most beautiful things I had ever been solely responsible for in my life. I was so proud. And so PISSED when I found out the people who bought my house literally mowed down those bushes.
Now THAT IS ABSURD!!! Those things had grown for 5 years - they were HUGE! GAH!!!
There are so many things I love about gardening.. and so many things I hate - like the bugs, the back breaking bending required.. but I can’t wait to sell our houses so we can have a yard again.. I’m ready for the abuse. Absurd.
There is nothing absurd about how fantastic Deb’s picture is, with the vivid colors - I love it 100%..
Picture courtesy of DebR - Red Shoe Ramblings. (note: Red Shoes are pictured, rambling is not).
I have never liked being in front of a camera. Until I started my blog - really, until I started SPC - there are very few pictures of me in this universe. I had this grand idea that my child might like proof that we lived on the earth together in unison - so I specifically decided to start being part of the picture.
It wasn’t easy to overcome this bizarre fear associated with public portraiture. I still flush when people stop and stare when I’m snapping away in public - and dear Lord, if they ask to help. I don’t know how famous photographers take some of the shots they do. I am in awe of their balls.
I have used my self portraits as therapy - they inspire me to write, and I’ve become more comfortable with my physical appearance.. when in all honesty it’s been a problem for me. I won’t write my personal list of “Holli hates” in this post… my broken bones, my scars - all the things wrong with my face - wouldn’t that be absurd?
I started this post and just naturally I lean towards the negative. Why don’t I feel comfortable writing towards the positive? Sometimes I feel like it’s not a good thing to like me, to like the way I look at all. I find myself beating me up frequently because that seems like a better alternative.
Absurd.
Words… Camera… Which one is worse - or does it even matter?
March 28, 2008 at 9:35 pm · Filed under 31 political
Sometimes our differences in politics (and life) can be big - so big that the differences themselves become actual issues. When this happens many people take sides… and either shout that stance to the world, or hide it behind a curtain. I honestly don’t know which of the two is more dangerous - mobs of anger or unspoken beliefs that run in an undercurrent, sweeping feet out from unsuspecting people who think they know the world better.
If you pick everything into tiny fragments and dissect all the pieces of what makes politics work - it comes down to people… and people are different. Like snowflakes - no two are the same, but somewhere along the way the world will try to convince us that it is better to be “same” than “different.”
It is the dreaded “normal.”
I do not believe for one second that striving for normal is what changes a country or people - or molds the political parties that bring progress. It’s only in the struggle for new, different and better - that some of us find change.
I remember when I found the Self Portrait Challenge website two years ago I was feeling really bad about myself because I didn’t fit into this specific category (without getting too personal) that society likes to place women. It didn’t work for me in highschool or college - I wish it did… but no.
A friend of mine suggested I reach out to a different group of bloggers in the artistic community, because there was a whole different thing going on that I might enjoy - specifically on this blog. I hesitantly posted my first self portrait and it sucked - but still, I felt so welcomed.
As my photography became more unique, more interesting and “holli-ish” - the better I felt about what I was doing. I felt a sense of community here - and it was so wonderful to feel good about being accepted for my differences, rather than my similarities.
I love this blog. I am so thankful it exists - it’s actually made a difference in my life.
When you focus on the differences as being strengths - people flourish. When you force everyone into a miserable cookie-cutter experience - and punish for “different.” Well, life is too short to not actually live it as… you
*********
It may seem too apropos that I chose Kristen’s picture the day I’m going to stay with her family for the weekend, but it would have been picked had I never known her name. I’ve always loved the quote at the top of her blog - and the image did exactly what my picks need to do… it wrote this post for me.
My darling girl, when are you going to realize that normal isn’t a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage.
~author unknown
The word “politics” specifically means: the process by which groups of people make decisions. The Wikipedia generalization was “who gets what, when, why, and how.”
When I think about politics in general, I have a range of emotions wash over me at any given time - depending on the year, what I’ve been watching, listening to, or what may be going on in my life. Politics does affect the here and now, but when I really sit and think about the importance of all these decisions - what it comes down to is… tomorrow. What impact will our decisions have on our children - and their children?
We could easily close our eyes and let things continue on the way they’re going now and most likely we’ll have this planet, this society, this… everything - at least through my lifetime. So why should I care? Why should anyone??
Because we must - we must leave this place better than we found it. We must be able to leave this world knowing our children are safe. We absolutely can’t lead future generations into chaos. They didn’t ask for it - they shouldn’t be given a big mess. Whether or not I agree with the next person on what it takes to fix the mess remains to be seen - I just want this world to be a better place than it is right now.
When you speak of politics, you really aren’t being as specific as countries, political parties or people… Politics is the decision to work towards a better future, together. The past is just history. Those who choose to dwell there forever lose the chance to move forward.
I didn’t need to read any of Kelle’s post to get what she was saying on her blog - the picture said it all in one shot. Having a young daughter has changed so many of my opinions in ways I never thought possible. People who think they know how I would vote based on my personal attitudes and opinions are usually wrong. If you believe I think about my child’s future when I make decisions - you’re right.
When you focus on the future - the spin is all bokeh.
Image courtesy of Kelle, Enjoying the Small Things.
Either a lot of people are hesistant about jumping into the political SPC’s or the primaries really kept everyone busy this week. I’ll be honest - I didn’t do my own self portrait for week one. I held back so I could think a little before opening my mouth (or running my fingers).
Since becoming an independent I put a lot more thought into politics than I used to. I am open to every candidate in the beginning - and I watch everything. I do not believe in following one party blindly just because of a color - I believe in watching, thinking and then deciding. I believe in researching beyond what you see on your television or popular websites. Learning by proxy is not a good thing when it comes to politics - the media does not always tell the whole truth, but it’s sad how many people take it as gospel. I get really upset when I see people blogging facts that are specifically wrong - and even moreso when it riles their commenters up. I’ve just learned to avoid political posts and separate fact from opinion. Obviously it will be a little more difficult to do that this month.
Many political discussions lead to arguing when people don’t agree - it’s happened on my blog before, and I hate that. I don’t like *not* getting along with my blogfriends - because whatever you say or do in my comments, it isn’t going to affect my vote at the end of the day. I make my decisions for myself, based on facts not blog comments. It’s these thoughts and more that remain jumbled in my head - and I’ll ponder them until next week…. where I may or may not decide to post a self portrait. I don’t want to post something that is less than true to myself, but most likely there will be other people who don’t share my viewpoints. I’ve just always thought of politics as something highly personal at the end of the day. Maybe these are things I can blog about… or not.
For now, like many others - I choose to remain in silence.
